Exploration and Discovery

Perusing the blog world for the last month I have brainstormed about my life, my attitude, my voice, so many things.

I am following in the footsteps everyone is making with their thoughts and ideas and starting February I will be taking blogging more seriously. I see now that my "blog" isn't muich more than my xanga was - a thought outlet.

These are my twelve resolutions for 2012 and my word of 2012.

1. Lose 20 lbs.

I have gained at least ten since I met my husband in April 2011 and before that was on my way down froma size 16. I am back there now. And possibly a few heavier. I do not like how that feels or looks. That is going to change.

2. Make a cookbook.

I have collected and made so many recipes since I learned to cook and they are so unorganized. I hate that. I made a small cookbook for my sister last year when she started renting and having her own good-sized kitchen and her own family to cook for. I enjoyed it so much and can't wait to tackle this project.

3. Get renters insurance.

This is a small, easy thing, but something I definitely want to do this year. It is very important and a big mental leap, so I put it here.

4. Pay off student loans.

I went to college for a year and accumulated the student part of my loan which is about $5,000. Budgeting right will allow me and my husband to be rid of that debt so I can feel free to go back to school or not, and also free to pursue a job without being held back by debt collection agencies.

5. Make and follow a budget.

I will start this by keeping a journal all of February (two paychecks) of how we spend our money so I can accurately make a budget with knowledge of all the variables.

6. Shoot a rifle.

I have shot a little 22 at cans and logs, but never an animal-killing rifle. I would like to learn to hunt to further enjoy things my husband enjoys, as well as becoming more active in what comes to our table.

7. Learn to crochet.

I am crafty, but have not mastered this skill. I would like to. Not a lot of explanation here.

8. Make a tee shirt quilt.

My mother and I have collected tee shirts from my whole life. Camps, schools, extracurriculars, anything. I would like to keep and commemorate them, but a pile of tee shirts isn't cutting it and there is no way to display them without wasting space. What better way to keep something special then to make it something you have no reason to get rid of?

9. Re-register to vote.

Kind of like renters insurance, probably a simple task, but an important one. I think we will change our state residency to Tennessee, which includes drivers licenses and having an address there. IDK much about this... so I need to focus on this as much as other larger tasks.

10. Go on vacation to new places.

We have both traveled extensively in America and I would like to continue that tradition. My ideas are Savannah, GA and Lancaster, PA. (so far)

11. Go fishing.

Anothe husband/food thing. :D

12. Make a mission statement for our family.

I got this idea from a blog I think. I will get the source up later, along with quoted text, and also from teh movie Courageous. We are a new family with dreams of getting bigger, like any company or group it is important to know what our goals are.

My Word: CURIOSITY

I would like not only to HAVE curiosity, always asking and wondering and learning, but also to BE a curiosity as a wife and a woman that stands out for her actions, attitude, character, accomplishments, etc.

TAFN

(So much to do re-organizing my apartment! And greeting the husband home from work! :D)

The bane of my existence. Otherwise known as laundry.

Ick. Folding. Hanging. Putting up. It never stops. And that is my task for today since we are going away for the weekend.

It was going well, as in it was done, but now that I think about it it wasn't going so well...

I pretty much didn't do laundry since the wedding until mid-December and then waited again until mid-January. But I felt good about it. It was all done when I headed out the door for our birthday trip, and then ... the demolisher went through all my clothes, purses, scarves, linen closet, and fabric. And now I feel like I felt when we got fleas in everything. Helpless with a neverending pile sitting in my little laundry room in front of my little washer. :-(

but i am getting it done slowly but surely and now i have gotten some folded, and am working on getting my husband to hang up the rest. :D

Also I am utilizing an idea from pinterest today to get my jewelry off the living room. Interestingly enough in a very thin antique drawer. Mmmm I love antiques and finding things at auctions with my mom.

The picture is a bar installed on the inside of a wardrobe with S hooks to hang necklaces but i am just going to use a tension rod and S hooks and stick it somewhere... not sure where yet. But pretty excited to use a tension rod seeing the uses for them everywhere, mainly magazines and pinterest. :D

anyway just wanted to chat a little but now I am getting to work on laundry and pizza dough for dinner :D

TAFN

Working on a few projects...

I have a baby shower of a friend coming up and this started me on a few projects.

I also really have started indulging my creative side since someone demolished my organized apartment.

So I started on a search of a new way to organize a few things. Mostly my shoes. I have extremely narrow doors and doorways and the only way I have successfully stored my shoes for the last seven or more years has been hanging pockets. It isn't so successful as cumbersome now. Haven't found many ideas as of yet... but my brain took many other journeys on my search so here I am with a few projects in a hand and a stained tee shirt on :D

Also my jewlery box is positively a disaster, so I am working on that as well. Throwing around ideas of vertically hung utensil drawers or making a miniature rack from pretty molding and small hooks. all painted the same color.

I grabbed a couple plaque shaped pieces of wood and wooden letters and brackets to make them hangable at hobby lobby. Then a sanding sponge and wood stain at Walmart.

I am painting the plaques lavender and have stained the letters American something its sort of a medium dark, which is why I am going with the lighter purple. I am going to glue them together with wood glue and put the brackets on the backs. so that she can hang them in the baby's room.

The second project is this square trunk I have. It was trash picked by my dad when we lived in Virginia. It is covered with a picture of a cat. Basically a wall paper material. Think, cheap, and damaged by water. So I ripped off the paper and am staining it with the same stain. It is cheapy material as well. Particleboard, so not as pretty as the plaque boards and wooden letters, but it is coming along nicely. better than a picture of a grandmotherly cat.

I will put up pix soon, but am not committing to that much work right now.

Adding to the creative mayhem I am going to a quilting shop tonight.

In other news, I am stalking blogs and subscribing with no abandon and thouroughly enjoying it. :D

Ever since the "break in" and my phone starting to malfunction leading me to delete a large game I have been attempting to be more adult like. Mostly in the cleaning department. Not that it has lead me to fold clothes. :/ But I feel very good about the direction this is going.

Keep you posted.

Future Game Room.

I picture a chess table and a card table and a puzzle table.

Shelves of board games and puzzles.

canvases of chess pieces, card shapes, puzzle shaped cork board. or some variation of those in art form.

monopoly board floor. or chutes n ladders maybe.

mini fridge of course!

tafn. :D

Wishing I had clever names, but usually I'm only funny when I am mad.

And that attitude is so five hours ago and probably in five minutes after this when I have to deal with the fact that my phone seems to be crashing.

Wandered around today. Watched bones. went through jewelry. Dressed up and went to lunch. Then the real wandering started I went to the hospital and picked up some prescriptions with all the other old timers lol and then hopped over to a thrift store and the commissary and the exchange. Stopped by a friends house, but missed her.

Got home got a phone call and then had a fit about the apartment. Watched hubby play around and now we are watching Sylvia Plath. Love it so far.

Its a thinker and I love those once in a while. And she is a romantic writer. I like that. So hear I came to my writing board. After spending a while on the wonderful pinterest. I am so in love, even though I am barely committed lol.

Hubby is irritated so I will bathe and sleep. Who knows what tomorrow brings. Swamp people meeting or flea market. Fun none the less. :D xoxo

Having fun.

Sorted through all my emails and they are now categorized. Yay for small victories.

I also got back to emails from myself when I emailed my favorites from my old phone and put them on my new one. Yay for more small victories!

Talked to an old friend and back to besties! Yay for big victories!

And caught up on Jenna Marbles new video and sxephil's news. Yay for what most would consider wasting time! lol

I have been busy trying to get my house back into shape and that included subscribing to three more websites. two are organizational and one is ... wait for it ... pinterest! Yay for bandwagon things that are awesome!

Anyway I think I will get started posting since I feel I may get kicked off for ineffective activity or something.

Get back to you soon!

The voice I had imagine was more sophisticated, but this is just me.

I am recently 23 and recently a wife and recently more separated from my immediate family longer and more permanently than I have ever been.

I have been having a hard time sleeping lately, going in and out of winter colds, and in and out of my menstrual cycle, but I feel like something tugging at me.

The monotonous tone of my relationship. Maybe it was just this odd Christmas that wasn't as jolly as others have been. Maybe I am scared of losing myself as I have been at this point in some relationships.

Am I losing my spontaneity with every folded t-shirt? every put away dish? It is starting to feel like that.

I have gained at least ten pounds since April and hate it. It feels so uncomfortable in my clothes, my sleep, my walk. But in this nasty apartment complex with very little outdoors feel to it, I can barely coax myself to walk the dog, much less walk myself.

I haven't read since Christmas, haven't sewn since summer, and haven't exercised since then either.

Where is Amanda? She is getting sadder and feeling more lost every day. Not lost to God, I feel him there, taking care of us, but lost for what my calling is right now.

I have no purpose. Wife comes naturally, what is the thing I must push myself to do?

I will return to Bible Study this week, and church soon, probably not tomorrow, and have thought about looking into school... so I guess I just glance up at my own motto and

Keep moving forward.